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                  永远等不到密宗上师的一句真诚道歉——萨姜米庞的公开道歉被批毫无诚意

 

（图：萨姜米庞仁波切Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche和夫人）


     2018 年 6 月 25 日，萨姜米庞向香巴拉社区发送了一封公开道歉信。 他的开头是： ‘致香巴拉社区： 我怀着极大的悲伤、温柔和自我反省的心给你写信。我希望你知道，在我过去，我曾多次与香巴拉社区的女性建立关系。我最近了解到，其中一些女性分享了因这些关系而受到伤害的经历。我现在公开道歉。’

     尽管他在写作时好像在公开诚实地承认过去的虐待行为，但他只是承认已经通过互联网上发布的佛教阳光计划甚至登上了《纽约时报》而公开的资讯。注1甚至这种承认似乎也粉饰了佛教阳光计划中所描述的内容。不难想像，如果没有阳光计划，就不会有“诚实承认过去的虐待”。 

     萨姜米庞的声明“我最近了解到这些女性中的一些人分享了因这些关系而受到伤害的经历”也不太诚实，因为他知道许多女性因他随意使用她们做为性工具而受到伤害，然後当他另结新欢时，他就对这些玩够的女性玩失踪、神隐。这些关系可以追溯到 1990 年代早期或更早，也就是 25 多年前。 

     他在信的後面写道：“我现在正在进入一个自我反省和倾听的时期。”人们很想知道自 1990 年 8 月以来，Ösel Tendzin（香巴拉第二代负责人，邱阳创巴的学生）死去，後继了香巴拉的萨姜，到底都干了什麽好事或认为他在做什麽。人们还想知道，上师和他的学生之间强大的三昧耶誓言意味着什麽，萨姜米庞自己承认，没有倾听或几乎没有倾听他的学生的话，也没有“自我反省”自己的行为。如果萨姜承认他有缺陷，这也引发了一个问题，即最高级的喇嘛如何以及为什麽赋予他如此大的权力和权威。此外，人们可能想知道为什麽给他这麽多的物质资源来维持他的家人、他自己、运行 Kalapa院（萨姜的居所）的费用？

      应该清楚的是，佛教阳光计划的Andrea Winn并不是要摧毁香巴拉，而是要揭露她和许多其他人所经历的疾病和伤害。她想通过向组织注入开放性和透明度并让其领导人为自己的行为负责来拯救香巴拉。她还想创造一个地方，让受虐者可以得到支持、治疗和社区，并且可以安全地畅所欲言。

注1.   Newman, Andy (2018). The “King” of Shambhala Buddhism is Undone By Abuse Report. New York Times, July 11, 2018 (last accessed July 8, 2019).
 

（图：香巴拉性侵受害者和佛教阳光计划创始人Andrea Winn）

Andrea Winn对於萨姜米庞仁波切公开道歉文的逐句驳斥摘要：


A-<2> “我与香巴拉社区的女性建立了关系” 他使用了“关系”一词，而关系是基於众所周知的“平等”。从听说他与那些向我讲述她们的故事的女性的“关系”开始，这些关系涉及暴力、暴行、强奸、公开羞辱、遗弃、精神虐待和其他无法忍受的暴力形式。在我们的社会中，我们不称这些为“关系”。



<3>“女性分享了因这些关系而受到伤害的经历”他似乎试图将他所谓的暴力行为的责任推给女性，暗示她们“感到受到伤害”，而不是说出实际发生的事情，这是与妇女自己所说的相反，他在身体、情感、性和精神上侵犯了她们。



<4> “我现在公开道歉。”他说他正在道歉，但他没有说他道歉的原因。



<5>“多年来，我已经亲自向那些表示对我的行为感到伤害的人道歉”  再次， 他的意思是他的行为是让人“感觉”受到了伤害，而不是实际上受到了伤害。他似乎也在暗示，无论他给受害者造成了多麽大的伤害，只需要一句道歉就足够了。



<6> “我还与那些感到受到伤害的人进行了调解和治疗。”他再次暗示女性“感觉”受到了伤害，而不是实际上受到了伤害。他似乎在建议将调解和治疗做法作为正直解决暴力的一种形式，但我从与我交谈过并记录在本报告中的妇女那里了解到，他对妇女的暴力行为持续了数十年，所以我不明白为什麽他会建议他真的做了任何事情来修复这些情况。



<7> “我一直并将继续致力於治愈这些伤口。”这与我从女性身上了解到的形成鲜明对比的是，由於他不愿治愈这些伤口，她们几十年来一直生活在孤立的痛苦和沉默中。



<9> “我想展示我们如何才能根据我们的教义传承走向仁慈的文化。 ” 这封信与他的建议形成鲜明对比，因为他正在展示如何掩盖真相，逃避责任，并抛弃指控他性行为不端的女性和委托他照顾的香巴拉社区。



<10> “我现在进入了一个自我反省和倾听的时期。”  表面上这听起来不错，很恰当，但他并没有说这是什麽意思。他要撤退了吗？他是否为女性开设了一个论坛来分享她们如何受到他的伤害？他会开设一个论坛来听听他的行为和欺骗如何影响他在世界各地的学生吗？



B-<4>我觉得我在怀疑他。 我觉得被误导了。 我要他道歉，他是在暗示他在这里道歉，但他在这里没有为任何事情道歉。 所以我觉得他在试图误导我，那感觉太糟糕了！ 我希望他成为一个能说真话的人——我希望他成为一个真正言而有信的领导者。 我*希望*能够再次相信他，而这比发生的事情又向前迈进了一步。

萨姜米庞的公开道歉原文如下：

To the Shambhala Community:

I write to you with great sadness, tenderness, and a mind of self-reflection.

It is my wish for you to know that in my past there have been times when I have engaged in relationships with women in the Shambhala community. I have recently learned that some of these women have shared experiences of feeling harmed as a result of these relationships. I am now making a public apology.

In addition, I would like you to know that over the years, I have apologized personally to people who have expressed feeling harmed by my conduct, including some of those who have recently shared their stories. I have also engaged in mediation and healing practices with those who have felt harmed. Thus I have been, and will continue to be, committed to healing these wounds.

As the lineage holder of Shambhala, I want to demonstrate how we can move toward a culture of kindness in line with our legacy of teachings. Kindness can sometimes begin with acknowledging the ways we have harmed others, even if we did not intend to do so. Thus, with the strong support of my wife, the Sakyong Wangmo, I am now entering a period of self-reflection and listening. I have worked with, and at times struggled with, how to be a teacher and a human being. I have found that there is no easy solution to navigating these responsibilities. Like all of you, I am human and on the path. It is important to me that you know I am here, continuing to do my best.

Above all, it is important to me that we continue to create a caring community where harm does not occur. It is my fervent wish that we be a community that relates to each other with compassion and kindness, so I have offered teachings and written practices to support such a culture. I want to encourage our community to completely immerse itself in caring and kindness. This is not easy work, and we cannot give up on each other. For me, it always comes back to feeling my own heart, my own humanity, and my own genuineness. It is with this feeling that I express to all of you my deep love and appreciation. I am committed to engaging in this process with you.

With love,

 

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche

 
 
 
 
 
 
英文原文：

On June 25, 2018 the Sakyong sent the Shambhala community an open letter of Apology.76 He begins with,
‘To the Shambhala Community:
I write to you with great sadness, tenderness, and a mind of self-reflection. It is my wish for you to know that in my past there have been times when I have engaged in relationships with women in the Shambhala community. I have recently learned that some of these women have shared experiences of feeling harmed as a result of these relationships. I am now making a public apology.’
Though he writes as if he is making an open and honest admission of past abuse, he is only admitting to what has already been made public knowledge by the publication of Buddhist Project Sunshine on the internet and even making it into the New York Times.77 Even that admission seems like a whitewash of what is described in the accounts of the Buddhist Project Sunshine. It is not difficult to imagine that without Project Sunshine there would be no ‘honest admission of past abuse.’
The Sakyong’s statement ‘I have recently learned that some of these women have shared experiences of feeling harmed as a result of these relationships’ is less than honest too as he had known that many women felt harmed by his casually using them for sex and then “ghosting” them when he moved onto someone new or if they questioned him about the nature of the relationship. These relationships go back to the early 1990’s or earlier—that is, over 25 years ago.
Later in the letter he writes, ‘I am now entering a period of self-reflection and listening.’ One wonders what he was doing or thought he was doing since August 1990, when he was made the lineage holder of the Vajradhatu organization with the death of Ösel Tendzin. One also wonders what the powerful samaya vows between guru and his students imply when by his own admission the Sakyong was not listening or barely listening to his students and was not “self reflecting” on his own behavior. If the Sakyong admits that he was flawed, this also raises the question of how and why he was given so much power and authority by the most senior lamas. Besides, one might wonder why he had been given so much material resources to maintain his family, himself, and the expenses to run the Kalapa Court?
It should be clear, that Andrea Winn with the Buddhist Project Sunshine was not trying to destroy Shambhala but rather, to expose the sickness and harm that she and many others have experienced. She wanted to save Shambhala by injecting openness and transparency into the organization and holding its leaders responsible for their actions. She also wanted to create a place where those abused could receive support, healing, community and where they could feel safe to talk out.


A-<2> “I have engaged in relationships with women in the Shambhala community” He is using “relationships” in a way that is commonly known to be between equals. From hearing about his “relationships” with the women who have approached me with their stories, these relationships have involved force, violence, rape, public humiliation, abandonment, spiritual abuse, and other unbearable forms of violence. In our society, we do not call these “relationships”.
<3> “women have shared experiences of feeling harmed as a result of these relationships” He seems to be trying to put the responsibility of his alleged violence onto the women suggesting that they “felt harmed” rather than naming what actually happened, which is in contrast to what the women themselves said that he violated them physically, emotionally, sexually and spiritually.
<4> “I am now making a public apology.” He says he is making an apology, but he does not say what he is apologizing for.
<5> “over the years, I have apologized personally to people who have expressed feeling harmed by my conduct” Again, he is dodging responsibility by suggesting people “felt” harmed rather than actually were harmed by his actions. He seems to be implying that when he has caused gross harm that an apology is all that is needed.
<6> “I have also engaged in mediation and healing practices with those who have felt harmed.” He is again suggesting women “felt” harmed rather than actually were harmed. He seems to be suggesting mediation and healing practices as a form of addressing violence with integrity, and yet what I have learned from the women who I have spoken with and whose stories are documented in this report, his violence towards women has continued for decades, so therefore I don’t understand why he would be suggesting that he has made truly done anything to repair these situations.
……
<9> “I want to demonstrate how we can move toward a culture of kindness in line with our legacy of teachings. ” This letter is in direct contrast to his suggestion, as he is demonstrating how to cover up truth, avoid responsibility, and abandon both the women who have alleged his sexual misconduct and the Shambhala community entrusted in his care.
<10> “I am now entering a period of self-reflection and listening.” On the surface that sounds good and appropriate, but he does not say what this means. Is he going into retreat? Is he opening up a forum for women to share how they have been harmed by him? Is he going to open a forum to hear how his actions and deceptions are impacting his students around the world?
B-<4> I feel I am doubting him. I feel mislead. I want him to apologize, and he is suggesting he is apologizing right here, yet he is not apologizing for anything here. So I feel he is trying to mislead me, and that just feels awful! I want him to be a man who can speak truth and mean it － I want him to be a leader who stands truly behind his words. I *want* to be able to believe in him again, and this takes one step further back from that happening. 
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